Use the code “H37cX” to get 25% off on all items on my storenvy store.
Use the code “H37cX” to get 25% off on all items on my storenvy store.
Washer Mouth: The Man that was a Washing Machine, by Kevin L. Donihe
Roy is a washing machine messiah. Recently turned human, he must pave the way for the coming of the washer-men. Unfortunately, Roy is not a very good messiah. More obsessed with the daytime Soap Opera Sands of Eternity, Roy deviates from his mission in order to follow his dream of acting in a scene with its beautiful leading lady, before she is retired from the show. But Roy soon discovers that the rise to stardom isn’t a simple task, especially for man whose mouth is an out-of-control washing machine. A menagerie of freaks, bukkake hair treatments, sexually deranged divas, super powered superstars, snuff films, gloop l unches, and a murderous washing machine man known only as The Dark Washer-all await Roy on his quest through the bowels of the day-time drama industry. It’s The Little Mermaid meets O’Lucky Man, filtered through Futurama. Washer Mouth is a totally fucking insane satire of Soap Operas that could only come from the unbalanced mind of Kevin L Donihe.
If you have read my reviews to date, you will probably already know that I am kind of partial to Kevin L. Donihe’s write. There is just something about what he lays on paper that I can just so easily connect with. So, I guess you can say that I am already a little sold on his work before I read it. By honestly, I have good reason. Kevin knows bizarro. That is a fact. With Washer Mouth, we have lots of tension, lots of character development, and lots of strange… stuff. With this novel you can’t ask for more. My favorite thing about this book is that it is dialogue driven while not getting too talky for my interest. You find yourself rooting for the good guys and hating the bad guys. This is one of the more tension built bizarro stories that I have read this year. The first two chapters are a little slow, but if you can get passed those, you will be glad you did. The only downside to this novel, honestly, is length. I feel like it could have been a little longer. I feel like Kevin could have gotten a little more expressive with the death of a few lead characters. There were also a group in the book called ‘the freaks’ that I feel kind of fell to the side toward the end of the book. I feel like with extra length in the novel they could have been integrated into the dynamic climax of an ending. The ending and the climax at the end was fine as is… don’t get me wrong. But, man… it could have been explosive if the freaks were tied into that last chapter.
If you are looking for a strange, fun read. Look no further.Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
Mutant unicorns. A palace with a thousand human legs. The most powerful army on the planet. A first world city on the verge of collapse.
In a city where teetering skyscrapers block out the sky, a city populated by lowly clerks, rumors have been circulating of a terror in the east. When Carl, the lowliest clerk on the negative twelfth floor, discovers that the city is indeed in grave danger, he sets out to warn the city’s protectors: the Unicorn Riders.
Although Carl’s missing father has left him a unicorn of his own, it is a small and sickly creature. Even worse, there is a crab claw growing from its side. But the Unicorn Riders need as much help as they can get, and soon every able rider sets out for the city’s flooded perimeter in a steam-powered Spanish galleon.
An epic journey that spans desert and sea, through the bedchambers of a fearsome Eastern queen, and into the devastation of a conquered city, Unicorn Battle Squad is the story of a boy and his unicorn at the end of the world.
Unicorn Battle Squad, by kirsten Alene is officially the first bizarro book I actually read. So, with that, I am kind of partial to the book. Hell, it is about freaking unicorn warriors for crying out loud. It’s awesome! I am a sucker for the corn so I had to get this book. Not only is the writing top notch, but the illustration for the cover and inside the book is super fantastic. One of the plus sides to Alene’s writing style is how minimalist she can get with the descriptions. I know that is sounds like a bad thing.
But it isn’t.
There are a lot of authors out there that can just drone on and on about the details that we get board and sometimes just out right set the book down. The hard-ended opposite side to this is that the author leaves out details causing the reader to become confused. In this book Alene manages to somehow meet in the middle. The book has a solid pace and sliced across the details in a way that leaves a lot of the book to the reader’s imagination. So, if you have a vivid imagination I highly recommend this book. When the unicorn army races in and takes no prisoners you are right there with them on a trusty steed of your own. Although this was the highlight for me as a reader, there was one chapter that did get a little jumbled. Too many characters interacting in one room without enough detail to discern who was talking. But other than that, this book was top shelf. And you like me, you like sex… the climax at the end of this book will leave you breathless.
I felt refreshed when I put this book down. But not in a creepy way. I don’t know what I am saying now. So I guess this review is over. I need to leave. Next review on its way!Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
I picked up Shane McKenzie’s novella and a part of me still regrets it. I don’t want the images burned in my brain. I lay there at night, trying to fall asleep, and those fat greasy chins… the fat nasty blubber of hungry people. I just can’t handle the skin grease.
McKenzie did a good job on this bizarro novella so long as your goal while reading it is to get grossed out. The characters are great. The story line keeps you peaked. And the gore factor is over the freaking top. If there was a chart it doesn’t fit on the page. I can say that Shane’s story fits well with the liking of Edward Lee… assuming you know Edwards’ work. This story follows a cop who already has a fear of fat people because of her obese father. She is called to a diner for some strange called.
The food is so good that people just can’t quit eating.
All you can Eat is pure madness.
I will add one negative thing. Before I tell you what it is, honestly I view it as more of a reader preference than a flaw. One thing that most all writers have in common is that they can tend to have a lot of run on sentences. With this book I found it to be quite the opposite. There were a large number of incomplete sentences. Again, this was just a preference and might very well be the writers intended style.
The part that creeped me out the most was the scene in the cop car. Fat people are hard to force into the back seat.
Enough said. If you want a bizarro read about food and fat people… then what are you waiting for?
Yep, another Kevin L. Donihe book. Last week I reviewed one of his other books, Space Walrus. And well, I was impressed… so I read another one of his back to back.
First off, it is pretty hard to review poetry. How can you have any bias opinion on something that is so creative, so broad, so experimental?
When I picked up Kevin L. Donihe’s book, The Flappy Parts, I am going to be honest. I was drawn by the name and the cover. I knew it was poetry (something I never read). So when I bought it, it was a gamble. In fact, I am so out of the loop with poetry I kind of felt like this book wasn’t poetry at all. How is a poem a poem if it doesn’t rhyme? At least that was how I felt after reading the first few pages. I was let down. Dang it! Money well spent on nothing!
But still, I couldn’t put it down. I kept reading.
And I am glad I did.
Hell, before I was a third of the way through the book I was so engrossed with the poetry that I found myself actually licking the book!
Trust me, if you buy this book you will be licking the pages well before you get halfway through. I promise! Kevin has a unreal gift with writing. And this poetry book allows that gift to shine. Some of this stuff is crude. Some is funny. Some is shocking. And some is… okay. And some didn’t make any sense. But I think that is because there is literally something in this book for everyone. Some of the poems that hit home for me might not make sense to someone else. And the ones that I passed over without a single thought or emotion might have someone else rolling on the floor with laughter or even regret.
Buy this book! I’m glad I did.
And if you end up lapping that tongue on the pages before it’s over, I don’t know about you, but I think that affords an amazon review for the author. As an author myself, I know he would appreciate it.Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
Bigfoot Crank Stomp by Erik Williams (pictured below) is a fast-paced frenzy of chaos and fun. I first picked up this book because of the title and the cover. That’s right… you can judge me. I judge books by their covers, but what can I say? I enjoy seeing decent artwork. If it looks tacky to you, the content inside probably is too, but this title and cover had me sold. The concept was also great. Who doesn’t want to read a book about bigfoot killing people while on meth?
Like I said, it’s fast paced (with plenty of blood and guts). And yes, plenty of meth. In the starting two chapters it got a little confusing because it introduced a sizable number of people. Once I got past that point I was able to pick up on who was who and enjoy every last breath each one of them took in their dying days. If you are looking for a quick read that leaves you laughing, gritting your teeth, and shocked, all that the same time – this book is where it’s at!
One more thing… in the last few chapters of the book I was beginning to feel let down. But just wait. That very final chapter brings it home and leaves you smiling when you finally close the book.Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
So, I just finished reading You are Sloth, by author Steve Lowe. It was a great read. I will say first, though, that we as readers need to know what a sloth really is. And when it comes down to it, the sloth is slow. And based on the pace of the first few chapters of the book I was beginning to think that the book was going to be a cliché of coincidence. A slow book about a slow character. After a few chapters the book really picked up though.
The thing that stuck out the most for me is the way in which it was written: The title is ‘You’ are sloth, and that’s how it reads. The book is written in 2nd person, as if you’re the main character. I liked that. It sucked me in. The longer I read the book, I thought that it was just going to be a weird story about what life would be like as this animal. But just when I was getting my hopes up the book shifted in an unexpected direction. And from there on out the pace became frantic and the twists and turns were constant. I really enjoyed this book a lot. The characters were strong, and who better to write this book than a guy that actually looks… well, slothy.
Also, talking snakes and homosexual robots. To the slothmobile!
But enough of that. Go read this book!
One last note: my favorite part about the book cover is the unfinished embroidery on the wall. How lazy is that?Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
Guts is a bad motherfucker in a bad, bad world. The government nuked the sky ten years ago to combat a super fast spreading virus that turns humans into blood thirsty, ravenous killing machines that look more like giant, mutated bats than people. The new sky kills these “vampires” instantly, but at a cost. The entire planet is slammed with mega-high doses of radiation every time the sun comes up, completely changing life on earth as we know it, and completely decimating what little civilization there is left. In Nuke Town, Guts wakes up in a strange motel with no memory of how he got there. A brother and sister duo are the only two humans in sight, but are they friend or foe? As the paranoia sets in, and Guts begins to understand the true implications of a nest of sophisticated, mutated vampires, he must use all the cunning and skills that his years in the wasteland have taught him if he hopes to survive the horror that awaits him in …VAMPIRE GUTS IN NUKETOWN!
Vampire Guts in Nuke Town, by Kevin Strange.
This book is splatter-thrash-gore fest-frenzy-smash! If that were a genre, I guess. Ha, anyway… this was my first time picking up a book by author, Kevin Strange. So I didn’t really know what to expect. The cover it strange. The publisher is strange. The author is even strange. Well that’s just a lot of strange! And it fits: This book is strange. And the truth is, that is the best way to describe it. The opening chapter lays the work for the world you will be entering. From there we meet the main character and move forward into a weird tale. If you can get past that first little loll in the book then you will be glad you did. The farther in you get the grosser it gets. Kevin has a knack for the descriptive. When the guts and goo are splattering across the page you can smell it. You taste it. It’s nasty. And when you think it couldn’t get any deeper, the gritty grime keeps on coming. This is what I liked and hated about the book. I enjoy a book that can make my stomach turn, but at the same time I felt like it was a little over done at times. Gore just for the sake of gore rather than letting the story flow. Although there were some up and downs with pace, over all, I was happy with the story. I loved the characters and all their quirky little defects. The pace was strong and engaging.
If you’re looking for a new twist on vampires… a bizarro twist that laughs mockingly at Twilight, then look no further. This book will make you throw up while laughing.Join the Conversation | Post a Comment
I just finished reading The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade, edited by Cameron Pierce. It took me a little while to get through this book because I was reading other books at the same time. Here is the thing… it is kind of hard to write a review on an anthology, because it showcases more than one author. More than one writing style. More than one good story. And more than one not so good story. All anthologies are like this. I have read several anthologies in my time and have yet to find one that didn’t have at least one story in it that was bad. Not every story in an anthology is going to be the life changing story you were meant to read. Although this is true for this anthology, I enjoyed this one the most.
The one thing that I noticed different about this anthology from all the others is the story lengths. Most anthologies have word count guidelines with their submissions. As a result all of the stories are about the same length. With this one you had some full novella length stories and some that were so short they only covered half the page. I enjoyed this. In fact some of my favorite stories were the short ones.
Anthologies are a lot of work when it comes to editing, and I just wanted to also note that Cameron did a really awesome job editing it. Throughout the entire book I think I only noticed one ‘oops’. And even then it was not a big one. A round of applause to Cameron. His hard work shows in this collection.
In this book there is something for everyone!
With that, I loved the artwork and studied the art for a while… wondering if any of the stories in the book were somehow tied into the cover art. Who cares! That cover art was freaking awesome.
So, to sum up my thoughts on this anthology: Loved the diversity in story lengths. Cover art is great. Edits are very clean. Although a few of the stories weren’t to my liking, this collection kept my interest more so than any other anthology I have read. There is something for everyone is this book, fan of bizarro or not!
Note: Why did I post these two strange photos with the cover art? Because there were stories in there that made feel both of those emotions. If you have ever felt like that, chances are it was while reading Bizarro of the Decade!Join the Conversation | Post a Comment